unspoken dreams

Time to be with myself. No other people around. Time were in happiness comes from within and not from others. I have to.

this song is very timely for me. the lyrics fits what i feel right now. listen to every words. feel the pain and anger. enjoy! I watch the days rush by me like a river I shouldn't wait, but I'm scared to touch the water I let the phone ring, why won't you believe me I wait for silence, takes a lot not to answer All I have to say is You don't deserve me, you don't deserve me I'm finally walking away Cause you don't deserve me, and you're not worthy [Chorus] And I won't let you pull me in Because I know you're gonna win (The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over) And I won't fight you anymore I never been so sure (The war is over) cause the war is over I used to let you paint a pretty picture You got me caught up with your, you're my girl forever So I forgive you, it felt good when you hold me Yeah you owned me Now you wish you had really known me All...

I’ve been ranting about my lovelife for the past few weeks now. I’m sorry. But please bear with me, this will be the last. This will be a very straightforward one. So hold on.. There are a lot of people whom can really deceive you. They show you things you wanted to see and say words you wanted to hear.. Just to please you. Our story is rare. One of a kind. I can say one of a very few successful ones. But then again, there are things you we cannot fix.  You are an immature stud which is perfectly fine with me but little that I know, part of your immaturity is your clamor to explore. Unfortunately, your exploring includes flirting with guys and teasing people. For how many times now that I’ve caught you? Sending nude photos. Talking dirty to other guys. Flirting all the way. And I swallow everything holding on to your promise that you will change. I tried to adjust myself to satisfy what I think you need just for you to be happy. – but I was wrong. You kept on pl...

I am very observant. I am good in analyzing series of events. I am good in getting information. I don’t know but I’ve been like this ever since. Ang bilis ko matandaan ang mga bagay bagay and a little inconsistency next time na pag usapan ulit yan will trigger me to discover the truth behind everything. I can easily feel the adrenaline rushing into my veins and arteries. Sabi nga ng mga kaibigan ko I can be a good CSI. I know my craft. I find ways. Sa akin literally applicable ang line na “You cannot hide anything from me.” Kasi pag gusto ko, nobody and nothing can stop me. I know this is a little freaky but I only act like this pag binigyan mo ko ng reason to do it. And believe me. You will never like it. You will taste a dose of your own poison ‘ika nga. Another notable thing about me is I know how to act. I can play dumb and clueless but silently I am doing my thing. You think you’re still fooling me around but I already have all my aces that will be used against you. Li...

I am the youngest in the family kaya ako ang “baby”. And I know people around me tend to be overprotective. I perfectly understand that. Pero I have my own life. Tao ako. Mahirap ipaliwanag sa mga tao sa paligid mo kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay bagay sa sarili mo. Kung ano ang mga ginagawa mo lalo na at hindi naman kayo nagkakausap usap. Walang panahon at oras. Ano ang aasahan mo? At ang malala pa nyan, pag tinatanong ka, laging pagalit. Pwede naman magtanong ng maayos di ba? Isn’t it funny na kadalasan, nagagalit ang mga matatanda sa atin ng dahil sa ginagawa natinj or the way we act pero they should also realize na ganun din sila sa atin. Magagalit pag sumagot ng padabog pero okay lang magtanong ng pagalit? Gets?

1:56am Walang bahid ng antok. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Ayoko sana mag isip pero unti unting bumabalik ang mga ala ala ng nakaraan. Ngayon tinatanong ko kung papaano ba talaga magmahal? Kung ano ang mali. Kung ano ang dapat. Sa dami ng taong nakasabay ko sa paglalakbay ng buhay ko, halos lahat sila kakaiba sa paghakbang ko at gayun din sila kung kaya kami ay nadadapa. Ayoko na masaktan pa pero sabi nga nila, habang nasasaktan, lalong tumatapang. Lalong tumatatag. Gaano ba ko dapat katatag para masaktan ng paulit ulit?

Here I go again. In pain. Tears rolling down my cheeks every now and then. Light headed and dis oriented. I really hate heart aches. I just don’t know why I always have to be the one being left and hurt.

I may have a lot challenges to test my faith lately but still I am trying my very best to remain faithful to Him. It’s not easy and I am not perfect but He is. He will show me the way and will walk with me until I finish my race. He will remain faithful to His promise that He will never leave me. People may use me, abuse me and leave me but my dear Lord will never do that to me. That’s how much He loves me, us. He is the perfect example of true and faithful love that everyone has been looking for. 

A few months ago, I met this wonderful person that made my life a lot exciting and colorful than before. We shared laughter and happy moments together. We never stop exploring and discovering things around us, together. But sometimes, having differences can bring us a lot of confusion. I am a person who’s willing and ready to commit after less than 2 years of being single. I am ready to share my life with someone. And he is someone who is young, carefree and an adventurer who’d like to discover different things around him, alone. I thought we can live our life together having said our set up which really in the first place, I’m not in favor of. But like what anyone else, we’re willing to bend our own rules for the person we love. Not so long after, different issues arose. Loyalty and trusts issue almost destroyed us. Almost. But we held firm onto each other’s promise and stayed together. I thought we will survive. I thought we can manage to be together, someday. Before, I’m willin...

I just don't like us having this kind of conversation. It's not healthy for both of us. I'm hurt. Badly. I am not a money freak. :( I work hard to earn money but money isn't about everything to me. There are a lot more important things than money.

Life without Twitter isn’t bad at all. It’s more peaceful and silent. I was able to focus on more important things and use my time more wisely. And most of all, it allows me to be more happy.

There are thousands of reasons why we come across with a person. There’s always purpose behind everything… and everyone. People will teach us different lessons and will allow us to experience different things. And as a human, we must know how to absorb and eventually understand their purpose. The Dancing Nurse. He opened my eyes to everything. He’s the first one. My first. He taught me how to accept myself and how to let others understand that we are special.  He taught me how to value education and family. The Clubber. After being a nerd, I eventually learned how to improve myself physically. Went to the gym and be cautious about my looks. Then he came. He showed me how to balance my life. That I also need to have fun. Through him, I met a lot of new people that I never thought I’d meet. Mr. Businessman. This person really help me mature a lot. With an age gap of 10yrs, he showed me how important work is that’s why even if I’m still studying, I’m slightly prepared...

Boss: I have something to share to you.. Me: Sure. Boss: The reason why I can’t commit for now is because of what I experienced before. I got so devastated with this guy. Me: (crying) Boss: And because I have a lot of dreams that I want to reach and to achieve. Dreams for my mom. She can no longer wait but I can. So I want to reach my dreams first. Me: (crying) Boss: Sana by the time na maabot ko na lahat ng pangarap ko, andu ka pa din. Gusto ko andun ka. Me: Kailan ba kita iniwanan?.. Me: Let me clarify this. It doesn’t mean you’ll not see me na magselos because I will and definitely I will! Boss: Of course you have the right. You’re my everything. My twittermate, my friend, my bestfriend, my brother and my lover. While we’re emotionally talking to each other, someone kept on making his phone rings: Me: Sino ba yan? Sagutin mo na. Boss: No. Nag uusap tayo. Me: Kanina pa yan eh. Sino bang anak dalita yan? Boss: Why anak dalita? Me: A...

I started using Twitter last May of 2009 primarily to avoid my ex then who used to work for Facebook. So I guess you can imagine what runs in my mind whenever I open my Facebook account then. I started with a handful of followers; got hooked following celebrities (yes! Certified fan boy! Haha!) and receive first hand chismis. Months passed by and before I knew it, I have more than 1k followers, been following more than 1k twitter users with less than 33k tweets. Whew!  I must admit I really really enjoyed the twitter world. I discovered a lot of thing about anyone. I met a lot of asshole people and a handful of good ones. But I guess there will come a time that I have to take a break. Twitter is no longer healthy for me or helping me. I can say that little by little, it’s tearing me apart and destroying me. So I guess I need to take a break. I need to stay away from people that will not help me improve and will just influence me to do bad things. I need to prioritize other thi...