unspoken dreams

I am the love guru they say. I give sensible advices. I can provide comfort to brokenhearted. I can turn tears into smiles. But all these are non sense when I am the one who is heart broken. I am lost. It seems like I can't pick myself up and do all the things that I used to advise others.  i miss you with all of me. the man who can't be moved. I can't move on. They say a few bottles of beer will help me relax my senses and will help me forget you but they're all wrong. Every night, I find myself dragging my friends to accompany me to the nearest bar to drink my heart out. And when my sight gets all blurry and all my words are slurry, that's the time I will go home for I know, tonight, I will have a good sleep. Long. Uninterrupted. Deep. And most of all, painless. Though I know it's not healthy and it will never be but tell me, how can I control myself? I know, it's mind over matter but I can't just disregard that one person that a...

That's the topic in church last Sunday and it hit me bigtime. There are only two types of people whom you will have issues with. First. People who are empty of themselves. These are the type of person who have low self esteem and confidence and most often than not,m they tend to self pity thinking they're not good for anyone, that nobody deserve somebody like them. Thus, as an effect, they tend to leave people who loves them and people whom they love. Second. People who are full of themselves. In contrary, these are the type of person who have very demanding and commanding presence. It may be good at some point but in the long run, this type of behavior will make other tired since you tend to be hard to deal with. In all honesty, I tend to be the second one. I have very strong personality and since I am afraid to lose the one I love, I tend to manage the relationship on my own which is not good. And after hearing this and analyzing things that happened to ...

I know. I owe you a lot. I've been invincible for quite a while and I did that on purpose. Anyway, I've been going through a lot recently but before that, I'd like to make a rundown of what happened to me for the past few days. 05Mar2011 I'm now a year older and hopefully, wiser. I just stayed at home though. :) Thank you for all those people who remembered my life anniversary. :) Then a few days after I celebrated my birthday, somebody broke my heart. I opted not to have it discussed. =l Whatever it is, love will find it's way. And as a result, I've decided to have a major chop off make over. :) Oh well, then I get myself involved to this. :) and got plenty of this. And afterall, life's BEAUTIFUL.

It is painful to realize that the person you loved so dearly just suddenly turn into an ice cold human being. No more warmth of love, no more spark. And the worst thing? you are clueless why.  In a relationship, one of the challenges that you need to surpass is on how to keep the fire burning. To keep his interest to you and believe me, its no easy task especially if you have things to consider like time differences, distance and the like. These things make it even harder to manage a healthy relationship. Never the less, if you're one of those who were able to do such, then kudos to you plus a little inggit on the side. xxx For the mean time, let's listen to the song of Nyoy Volante that rips my heart. This songs is mine. =l Aking nararamdaman Unti unti na yatang lumalayo ang puso mo Tuluyan na yatang naglaho ang iyong pangako Tayo sa habang panahon Ngunit sadyang ganyan lang ang pag ibig Ang puso mo'y mayroong sariling isip Refrain Tanggap ko na ako'y hindi mo na ...