True Love Forgives

I am really hesitant to blog this. First. I am busy. Second. I just don't find it necessary. But since this experience might just help someone, I decided to write this on my blog.


The past.


My ex broke up with me since he said he no longer feel the same. He is loving me less and less each day. i appreciate the honesty, but of course deep in my heart I am saddened by the fact that he is so lame to fight for our relationship. Inspite of all the shit that had happened to us, he still wanted us to be friends which I think is all crap. I am the type of person that really do not make friends with ex's. By choice or not. Things just go shit with my pat relationships. Having said this, I really need to pretend I am okay.Everyday.


The Wake up Call


On Sunday, I went to the church. And I felt like God was talking to me that day. One thing that really struck me was when the pastor said; " We need to die in order for us to live." Meaning for us to be able to live a healthy and worthy life, we need to let our flesh die. We need to forget all our wants and burdens. This made me realize I am really missing a lot. I need to live. therefore I need to die. Right after that I texted him "may sasabihin ako sayo". it took me a few days more before I was able to tell him. I said: 


The Verdict


"I wanna sleep each night without thinking anything. Without worrying anything. i wanna feel happy and appreciate things around me and I cannot do that. I assume you know the reason why. Loving is forgiving. Ilang beses ko na sinabi sayo na mahal kita. Alam mo naman yun. But I guess part of me still holds grudge against you. Against what you did. And no matter what that is, mahal kita e.Hindi ko talaga kaya magalit sayo. Whatever happened or whatever you did, gusto ko na kalimutan. I am forgiving you for all the pain. All the tears... "


That's just half of it. I will no longer post the entire message for my privacy. 


I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Yes. i have to do this. I need to do this. For me to be able to move on, I just don't need to forget. I should start with forgiving. And I just did.

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