True Love Forgives

I am really hesitant to blog this. First. I am busy. Second. I just don't find it necessary. But since this experience might just help someone, I decided to write this on my blog.


The past.


My ex broke up with me since he said he no longer feel the same. He is loving me less and less each day. i appreciate the honesty, but of course deep in my heart I am saddened by the fact that he is so lame to fight for our relationship. Inspite of all the shit that had happened to us, he still wanted us to be friends which I think is all crap. I am the type of person that really do not make friends with ex's. By choice or not. Things just go shit with my pat relationships. Having said this, I really need to pretend I am okay.Everyday.


The Wake up Call


On Sunday, I went to the church. And I felt like God was talking to me that day. One thing that really struck me was when the pastor said; " We need to die in order for us to live." Meaning for us to be able to live a healthy and worthy life, we need to let our flesh die. We need to forget all our wants and burdens. This made me realize I am really missing a lot. I need to live. therefore I need to die. Right after that I texted him "may sasabihin ako sayo". it took me a few days more before I was able to tell him. I said: 


The Verdict


"I wanna sleep each night without thinking anything. Without worrying anything. i wanna feel happy and appreciate things around me and I cannot do that. I assume you know the reason why. Loving is forgiving. Ilang beses ko na sinabi sayo na mahal kita. Alam mo naman yun. But I guess part of me still holds grudge against you. Against what you did. And no matter what that is, mahal kita e.Hindi ko talaga kaya magalit sayo. Whatever happened or whatever you did, gusto ko na kalimutan. I am forgiving you for all the pain. All the tears... "


That's just half of it. I will no longer post the entire message for my privacy. 


I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Yes. i have to do this. I need to do this. For me to be able to move on, I just don't need to forget. I should start with forgiving. And I just did.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Say a little Prayer

Image
Last Sunday, I attended our Church’s service. As always, I felt like Ptr. Bong was talking to me. He reminded us that God want us to pray at all times, for in praying we talk to Him. It’s our chance to tell Him whatever we would like to say. And recently, sad to say, I had less time to pray. I am guilty. I feel ashamed. Just like what the Lord told us in Thessalonians 5:16 - 18 16   Rejoice always,   17   pray continually,   18   give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Regardless if we’re happy, sad, angry, terrified, lost, satisfied or anything, we have to pray. We have to pray to ask for guidance and most importantly, to glorify Him for everything. Starting tonight, I will try my very best to be more prayerful and to spare time for Him.
Read more

May oras ka pa ba?

Image
“Anong pinaka sweet na bagay na ginawa ng partner mo sayo?” tanong nya. “Ang hirap isipin. Pero siguro during the time that I was assign sa Cagayan De Oro for a month and sinundan nya ko para samahan for one month.” Ang sagot ko. Bigla akong napaisip. Ano nga ba makakapag pasaya sa isang tao? Paano mo mararamdaman na mahalaga ka? Time. Mahirap ibigay ang oras. Mahirap maglaan ng oras. Bago mo pa maramdaman ang sweetness, ang thoughtfulness at lahat pa ng “ness” you need to spare some time. Mahirap naman magpaka sweet kung wala kang time, diba? Kahit sa phone, in person o sa chat pa yan – it all requires time. Ang pagbibigay mo ng oras sa mga taong mahahalaga sayo only shows kung gano sila kahalaga. Yung mga oras na ginugugol mo sa kanila, pwedeng pwede mo gamitin sa ibang bagay, sa ibang tao, pero mas pinili mo sya. Madalas, sa mga tao ngayon, hindi na napapansin ito. Akala maliit na bagay lang, na simple lang ang oras. Pero kugn tutuusin, halos lahat di pagkaakunawaan pwedeng mag uga
Read more

Twitter Holiday!

Image
I started using Twitter last May of 2009 primarily to avoid my ex then who used to work for Facebook. So I guess you can imagine what runs in my mind whenever I open my Facebook account then. I started with a handful of followers; got hooked following celebrities (yes! Certified fan boy! Haha!) and receive first hand chismis. Months passed by and before I knew it, I have more than 1k followers, been following more than 1k twitter users with less than 33k tweets. Whew!  I must admit I really really enjoyed the twitter world. I discovered a lot of thing about anyone. I met a lot of asshole people and a handful of good ones. But I guess there will come a time that I have to take a break. Twitter is no longer healthy for me or helping me. I can say that little by little, it’s tearing me apart and destroying me. So I guess I need to take a break. I need to stay away from people that will not help me improve and will just influence me to do bad things. I need to prioritize other things.
Read more