Do it right this time.

I am hooked and totally interested with the topic on our Church. It’s about how to be a good parent and/or leader. It is a 5 – 6 week series of lecture if I’m not mistaken. Growing up without anyone by my side except for my tita, is somewhat weird and at the same time saddening. No. My parents are still alive of course but they have to work and with their busy schedule, they can’t manage to take care of me. And while growing up, I have very little memories with my siblings since they all moved out to study in Manila. As a young kiddo, there’s nothing more special than to grow up with people whom you know are trustworthy and loving that’s why whenever they visit us, we make the most out of it. As far as what I remember, they used to teased me and teach me with my homework. Most of the time, during my elementary days, I have to ask our neighbor who happens to be a college professor to teach me with my assignments since my siblings are not around and my parents do not have time. Ironically, even as a child, I was not allowed to play outside with other kids that’s why I managed to build a world of my own. I am not saying my parents did not raise me properly because clearly they tried to and I appreciate it very much. But I know there are better ways to do it that’s why I will be sharing what I learned.

In raising your kids or even influencing your subordinates, you shouldn’t use power and superiority. And guilty as I could be, I was raised that way. Elderly usually force us to do the things they what us to do even if as a kid we don’t want to since we have vivid understanding of what’s really happening. They would yell at us or even bribe us just for us to do things. But it will not last for long since kids also grow and once they are bigger and stronger that you, they will no longer follow you. So what should we 

do?

BE A GOOD MODEL.

If you show your kids the things that you want them to do, then definitely they will be able to adapt and will imitate you. So if you’re giving your kids a bad example by the way you live your life, then please do not expect that they will follow you. Action speaks louder than words. Always remember that.

GIVE TIME.

No matter how tight your schedule is, spending QUALITY time with your family is very important especially for kids. This is the time that you as parents should be the one around and guiding them as they develop themselves otherwise, instead of you honing them, it will be the society who will influence them. That’s why there are a lot of cases wherein young adults are doing nasty things nowadays, society have stronger influence to them rather than their families. Remember, if you love someone, learn how to give time because giving your precious time is one of the ultimate sign of love.

BUILD A POSITVE RELATIONSHIP.

Honestly, I cried at this part. This is something I longed to have.

Most of parents nowadays are destroying bridges to their families rather than building a strong one. How? They do not have time or even if they have time, they do not know how to listen. Remember these 3 things in building a strong, positive relationship:

1.       

Connect . – You must find time to know your kid. Do not force them to do things that you like. You’re the one who understand them more so you’re the one who needs to adjust. Do things they wanted to do. Play with them. Eat at Jollibee with them. Laugh with them. Do not force them for they are still trying to discover things. Eventually, you will see that as time passes by, they will now do things that you want to do since they now want to spend time with you as well.

2.       

Communicate. – This is another area where most parents needs to improve. You need to listen to your kid regardless how non-sense it could be for listening means listening to the unspoken words. Learn how to read in between the lines. Listen to the tone of their voice. Look at their facial expressions. And after you listen, you have to listen some more. And some more listening. That’s what you should do. Do not interrupt them while they are talking, that’s why it’s called “LISTENING”. Don’t be surprised if one day they will no longer talk or share their thoughts with you for you do not know how to listen. And once they do, they will start to drift away from you and you as if you’re raising a stranger.

3.      

Compliment – No matter what they do, learn how to appreciate and compliment them. You have to build their trust at you not with anybody else. That’s why most teens now tend to have barkadas because they appreciate them. Them compliment their little achievements which are invincible to your eyes.

I am not a parent. Not yet. A lot of people might raised their eye brows at me and ask me what do I know about parenting but let me tell you this, why don’t you try changing the way you raise your kids and see how it will change them as well. Good attitude begins at home not with society.